Measuring
I hate mathematics and there's no doubt on it but there are times when I come to love them. I hate doing percentages, fractions and probability in general but when it comes to dealing with the uncertainties of life, that's when I use maths. There are many times I find myself there giving guilt a lifetime exploration in my mind. I keep double guessing myself using these mathematical elements and tying myself down having the probable results between my palms.
I made my decisions into probabilities, measured my failures in percentages, weighed my emotions and not forgetting about measuring the amount of effort I need to put into perfecting myself.
Question: What is it that I am really measuring?
Answer: Fear.
The reason to weighing is largely or rather wholly due to fear. I fear of failing and of losing. I'm taught to do things right with minimal mistakes. I am taught to do things in perfection and to reach perfection. This is how it hurts when there are things that you merely can't measure or weigh but you've got to trust your instincts and dive in, head first.
You either get your head damaged badly or get what you wanted but it is of course easier said than done. There are times when you wait to react holding you in hostage is the genius mathematical work you've planned out. Everything is timing. I won't want to trust that.
Not everything is measurable, equitable, this is life you're talking about. It's full and filled with uncertainties. Living is abstract, the most abstract work in the world. How good are you at living, hiding, facing, handling... itss all abstract. At times even the person him or herself can't read his or her own living. That is the beauty of life.
Immeasurable.
I hate mathematics and there's no doubt on it but there are times when I come to love them. I hate doing percentages, fractions and probability in general but when it comes to dealing with the uncertainties of life, that's when I use maths. There are many times I find myself there giving guilt a lifetime exploration in my mind. I keep double guessing myself using these mathematical elements and tying myself down having the probable results between my palms.
I made my decisions into probabilities, measured my failures in percentages, weighed my emotions and not forgetting about measuring the amount of effort I need to put into perfecting myself.
Question: What is it that I am really measuring?
Answer: Fear.
The reason to weighing is largely or rather wholly due to fear. I fear of failing and of losing. I'm taught to do things right with minimal mistakes. I am taught to do things in perfection and to reach perfection. This is how it hurts when there are things that you merely can't measure or weigh but you've got to trust your instincts and dive in, head first.
You either get your head damaged badly or get what you wanted but it is of course easier said than done. There are times when you wait to react holding you in hostage is the genius mathematical work you've planned out. Everything is timing. I won't want to trust that.
Not everything is measurable, equitable, this is life you're talking about. It's full and filled with uncertainties. Living is abstract, the most abstract work in the world. How good are you at living, hiding, facing, handling... itss all abstract. At times even the person him or herself can't read his or her own living. That is the beauty of life.
Immeasurable.
5 Comments:
Living your life the way you want and not always fear the uncertainties of life will make your life more meaningful... Fear is just to let you know that you still have something to lose... Many people say life is like a journey, some say its like a drama unfolding right before our eyes... But I say life is right now! The moment we're living in is what signifies life. Every breath we take is what life is about. Life is what we do with every breath we have and how each breath brings the things that happen in our lives =D
Fula(bapak)makah kor very jeng! True... Mui lose hands down!
Ok.. lets not fool with this. Indeed, life is in the every breath within us, no one knows what happens in the very next minute. But again as a human, there are bound to be obligations in life. The lesson that I and many others out there need to learn is how to handle the obligations and still live the moment.
Kor, seriously, you write well.
haha... who am i compared to such a distinguish blogger as my ah mui who recently got accepted as a friend of Tunku Halim in Facebook =D
That will leave a mark in your life so cherish it well =D
Lol... distinguish apa... its just melberrish... It just happens coz i read his blog. lollll...
well at least melberrish got u somewhere =D
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