Me and I on a Sun(ny)day


I value 'me time' in fact I overvalue them. There are days where I'd just sit alone looking at the sky and the trees, just me and myself. I find it peaceful to speak to myself. I admit that I think a lot. I like to think and I enjoy it. There are times I wish I could go somewhere alone and spend time with myself. It is important to me that I have quality time with myself and the only presence I want when I get into this mode is nature.

I get alone time today as my classes were cancelled. I should be happy but I'm not. There is a sudden pang of loneliness that crept in me. I started missing everyone badly and it is one of the worse ones since I've been away from home in these three years. Suddenly it felt as if everyone is far away, too far from me.

All these late nights and assignments had me neglected a lot of people. People that matters a lot to me. I went far from them. I feel sorry for myself that I've become this workaholic that doesn't sleep and pushes myself beyond the limit.

I need to learn to be dependent. I have issues with dependency and I know that I need to be dependent 'cause I can't do everything on my own. Well it's just hard 'cause I've been independent almost at all times. I'll learn it but it's going to take time.

I know I might've disappoint people when I just kept quiet when they ask me to depend on them. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I'm not used to it. I'm sorry. I'm learning and this is one of the toughest thing to do. So please just have some patience with me. I'm trying.