Nature of Fear


Fear - is a feeling of threat when you are in danger (dictionary says so)

I, on the other hand... see the feeling of fear as a nature, as in the normalcy of how living things react when they feel threaten or somewhere along that line. It all came to me when I was nearly attacked by a mob of monkey in uni the other day and when I saw a monkey in front of my room (on the 5th floor) trying to come in. I felt fear.

Then I realized, that fear actually emerge when both the monkey and I are clueless on what we will do to each other. It resulted to the baring of his possibly rabid gingivitis jaws and my reflex on slamming the door with a little 'FEAR' dance after realizing that the monkey had extended its arms to me.

I have no idea what it will do to me but I just acted out of fear shutting it away from me to safeguard myself first without second thoughts. Or so that I thought of it as safeguarding myself. On the other hand, the monkey might have acted that way with possible thoughts that I'll probably hit it or push it off the corridor that would send it straight down - six feet under (literally).

The common ground here is the underlying curiosity in our thoughts. There was no room for any other elements to appear in our minds as fear rushed pass the rest . Instantaneously, when we are unsure of something it would result to only one word 'H-A-R-M', thus activating the defense alert. Being so, the high level of defense in the living being mechanics itself to the survival mode, doing whatever it takes to survive. Survival is microchip into the living's genes, which explains why the survivors fight/defense to live - Darwinism applies.

What lies in fear? Uncertainty. Because we are so uncertain of what we do not know, we assume for the worst, we are engineered to be that way, reflex they say. Nature, say I.

"The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror."

-Oscar Wilde

The quote above reflects what I have observed but in the opposing direction. The reason we all think so negatively of what others would do unto us is that we are all afraid for ourselves. Fear is the acting armour of uncertainty.

p/s: Its the first nature post in this new ground. It feels nostalgic yet exciting.

Intention, Action and Results


Most humans are cynics, though there are many uncorrupted ones that still lives in the bubble, protected and unexposed, yet. Don't be so quick in judging my statement, it is just a little mind game of mine trying to stream you into the perspective I am looking at.

I said we are cynics because we usually would ask people this "What is your intention?"
Due to the cynicism, we often read intention as 'getting a repayment in exchange of a deed'.

That is how the world became so misunderstood today... The norms, the concept of norms, the norms of a society and all of the alike that took over individuality. That and that alone is seen to be succeeding in the mass production line of 'human moulds'. Which is the obvious revolution of individuality to majority, leading to the segregation of individualist as the living minorities from their majority 'counter part' (often disagreeing and obviously apart)?

So that was about cynicism, manipulation of norm and how it affected this world in my perspective. That was my little historic understanding on how the word 'intention' is misinterpreted.

Intention, through my understanding is the aim and the reason of an action. In my standpoint, everything a person does needs the base of intention because an aim, is usually accompanied by a drive to achieve the aim.

That drive acts like a synapse to initiate the action. Thus, intention is the root of most actions. Actions then lead to results.

Its like a flow, one leads to another. I would not belittle any of the three as each has strong impacts upon one another. The biggest impact however, is the results as it affect a bigger radius of elements involving the living beings.

The rule of basics applies - the importance of base, core and root as a foundation of a great impact.

In my sight, INTENTION - THE CAUSE OF RESULT

Under The Umbrella


Today is cloudy and rainy, it adds up to the gloom. Not as if I wanted to feel that way... It was purely unintentional. The weather, my emotional forecast. Though at times like this, I sometimes react at a reflective of a 180 degrees. Other coincidental days are like today. It is not easy on my side either, feeling this way that is.

When I answer some personality quiz in the future that should ask 'What is your biggest guilt?' they should have an option that state "weather-driven emotion". Should the weather be persecuted? Perhaps...

Watching the droplets of water on the bus's window smeared by the wind. It would be really good to curl up on bed with a good book to read. Complimented with a hot cup of tea. That is how a perfect rainy would be for me.

The loud tapping that came from the roof reminds me of how hollow it is to spend a rainy day by yourself. With four walls surrounding me and a narrow room with no human presence other than myself. It felt hollow. Deep inside I felt pangs of emptiness.

My... my... Under the umbrella... Its really just my emotions and I...

First Name


Leaning back on the bench diving deep into my world of thoughts, I saw how articulate your clothes were, ironed to primp and perfection. It was as if you were engineered to be like this. The skeletal structure of your body was perfectly framed and more perfectly fitted with your struts had my assumption flashing in once more.

To a certain degree, I do admire the perfection you portrayed along with boldness encircling your aura... You didn't need to pound your face with make ups nor did you need a pair of heels to look taller. Vice versa, you neither need a designer suit nor a leather briefcase to show how suave and smart you are... You look symmetrical naturally, as if crafted that way. All those physical material is secondary compared to what you have within yourself. At any point of time, it will put just about anyone in the hall in awe only by looking at the way you compose and present yourself. No wonder those ordinaries had an alter decorated and dedicated to you.

Strength.

Was forced into my mind and probably another few thousand out there. It was bolted and sealed into our cerebrums. You win! Hands down.

Suddenly it rang to me how the volume and weight of your verbal deliverance had had the sitters blown away as if they were in the midst of a hurricane. Again, it was a remarkable sight for someone whose achievement is quite a portfolio in comparison to the length of your mortality. Now as you slowly emerge from that idol suit you were costumed in, I felt a tinge of discomfort building up at a slow but strong pace.

I am never a solid believer, in fact never even a thought on your beliefs. The thought of what you believe itself is indeed too much for a person called me to comprehend. I could spot how some of the crowd still has glints in their eyes when your suit wears off. However, to me the sparkle that had accompanied your walked in had turned into a fierce, hungry, fire and had you blazed down. It had charred the charm you naturally had when you stepped in... Finally conscience called in.. the longer I remain on that seat the more nauseous I became and eventually it made my stomach churned.

Honestly, I would have much preferred it if your first name was Humble.