79 Days and You


It seems so long yet so fast that we've made it through the hundreds. Now it's left with 79, and soon it shall be none. I am waiting patiently for that day to come though I am running short on patience itself. 79 days more of emotional turbulence. I detest the waiting but I love what's waiting for me.

Zero is not a perfect number but it is for me... 'cause zero brings us together. Zero is of no value because things of no value is greatly valued that it cannot be valued. Value is only valid for good, fair, and poor. You surpass all of them.

I cannot put myself into a position to equate you with numbers because there simply aren't enough of them.

My Miles of Tears


Who would have thought that this is how it is? Who would have thought of its possibility?

But life's like that, full of surprises.

Who would have thought that these miles are bringing me tears, like the rainpour outside. So dramatic and unreasonable.

Intangibility takes a lot of courage they say, I braved them saying I am made of iron, I've got training. It will be alright. Guess not.

All I really want is to shine but when I see you right there, my heart starts to tremble and the lacrimal glands fall into a fit, and my rational runs short.

I crumble little by little because that's how connected I am. It gets deeper by the ticks of the clocks. I made a wish in the rain. I hope it comes true because when it does, I'll be happy even when it rains.

Dandelions


I wish... I wish... that I am a pretty bird. Pretty feathers... melodious voice. I wish... I wish... I could fly high into the skies...

But wishful thinkings are mental illustrations.

I didn't grow pretty feathers, neither can I sing, nor fly... Just a little broken hearted...

The tears nourished the ground, gave me a little space and strength to grow... All puffy and white now, waiting for the flight.

Here comes the horn and away into the wind! Mountains, valleys, oceans...

The wind had brought me here... rooted, bloomed, and set for the wind once more.

A new level, a new horizon...

I am now a better me.

Kaleidoscope


Shake it, move it! You'll see the patterns changes from one to another. Sometimes from one you like to one you don't quite like. But that's how it works. Don't like this one? Give it a lil' shake and move to another.


That intriguing thing is a testimony to perspectives. The play of mirrors and movements made up images of patterns. Like life itself, shouldn't we look at the same thing with different perspectives?

It's Feeling


Sometimes life give you the greatest tease. Just when you start having really strong doubts about things, suddenly without you realizing, it is pulled back and given a spin.

These teases comes back with bold statements and basically highlights the important gist, in-your-face style.

Being a sensitive mice that I am, I do wonder how much he cares, how much I matter, what ifs, hows, and what not run through my mind? Nothing! Everything, good or bad. Then I'd get stupidly depresso and wallow in stupidity. I'd be this unreasonable idiot and sulk at my corner. I'd oversee the things he has done and is doing for me. I'm not being fair to him.

But today things took a turn... While at work, I had this immense uneasy feeling and it bothered me so badly. I chose to work instead. It got really bad later on and I had to text him to ask how his day was. I was not worrying for nothing. He was having a bad day.

I sound superstitious. But it's like we connect in some way. 'cause the same happened but I was having a bad day, and he texted.

It's a spin.

Wishes


There is a reason when people say don't put your hopes up, don't wish too hard, and don't expect, 'cause it'll bring you down when they are not met.

One should never measure their worth against their hopes, wishes, and expectations. But who are we non other than a mere human of flesh that feels. I wonder what am I worth of. Judging from the three, not much to those that meant the most.

As shallow as it sounds, I do live on approvals, appreciations, and of other's affection. This has made me sound like a parasite living off other's but again, I am only human. How am I suppose to live with my very self like a plant who photosynthesizes? If I could, God would've made me a plant of stems and leaves.

A foolish hopeful, a selfish wishes, that's what I am to you. I don't know anymore. Tell me.